No one is born an optimist

Optimism as defined by the Oxford Dictionary is the hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something.

There are always two or more ways a person thinks. Some people are pessimists who fail to find the good in an experience or person or simply deny looking beyond the struggle and hardship. Then some are optimistic about certain aspects or people in their lives but pessimistic about other aspects. These people are usually trying to gather all the information before they decide which way they lean. Then there are the eternal optimists who believe that every aspect of their lives teaches them something and there is no reason to believe that something is permanently broken. I fall in this category. While it may seem that being an eternal optimist is impractical (at times, it is), I believe that I have found the balance in my thought process, allowing me to control my emotions better no matter the situation.

Through this article, I aim to establish the pros and cons of each of these philosophies or ways of thinking. There can’t be a wrong or a right philosophy but there can certainly be a more positive and negative one which defines the levels of fulfilment and happiness we experience in our lives.

Contrary to the consensus, optimism can be developed but there are steps towards building anything of value. You are not born an optimist or a pessimist. Some individuals develop their way of life and think about life with a fixed mindset which is a result of their upbringing, environment, and struggles and some have grown up in an environment that challenges them constantly to change their beliefs which helps them develop a growth mindset. It’s important to note that mindsets can change, develop, and be optimised to help growth and attain fulfilment in the long term.

After reading the above passages, one would think that it is a matter of common sense to be an optimist and the easier path to take but it’s not that simple. To be an optimist, one has to drain out all the external voices and pressures. Optimists are often victims of anxiety, depression, and imposter syndrome when they are faced with failure regularly. Definition of what an optimist is and what an optimist isn’t:

An optimist is someone who:

• Aims for constant improvement
• Acknowledges the problems to resolve them
• Addresses issues as challenges to overcome
• Finds the good in tough times 
• Learns from failure
• Doesn’t give up but knows when to alter the route
• Understands that change is hard but necessary
• Isn’t shy to have the tough conversations

An optimist isn’t someone who:

• Criticises everyone around them
• Refuses to see the bigger picture
• Doesn’t try the hard things
• Avoids having the necessary conversations
• Spreads an air of negativity 
• Can’t acknowledge areas of self-improvement
• Ignores those who aim to motivate
• Has a negative worldview 

I recently read Carol Dweck’s book Mindset. With numerous studies involving students, business professionals, sports personalities, and others, she establishes that people fall into 2 categories of mindset; fixed and growth. Her definition of fixed and growth mindset helps the readers understand how one can develop a growth mindset, be stuck in a fixed mindset, and how mindsets aren’t permanent. Carol also states that one person can carry both mindsets depending on the task at hand. Similar to her mindset arguments, I believe that each individual can feel optimistic about one challenge or experience and the same individual may feel pessimistic about another challenge or experience. There can’t be a fixed state in which we can process our thoughts. 

So the question rises, how can we be optimistic more than we are pessimistic? Just like all valuable things in life, it’s a process. You have to be intentional in your thought process and be willing to learn about all possibilities to find one that makes you feel optimistic about the situation you are in. We have a different emotional responses to every experience and thus it has to be a constant effort to stay optimistic.

I have developed a simple process to stay or become optimistic about situations in my life:

• Learn how the situation or predicament is going to affect oneself and plan to deal with it
• Acknowledge the risks and rewards associated with one’s actions
• Acknowledge our losses as losses but also as lessons learned for future planning
• Stay a realist but find creative ways to make the experience more of a path to success
• Understand that no experience, no matter how painful, is without its upsides
• Communicate with those who have been in your situation to understand their experiences and then apply the best solution(s)
• Detach from yourself to then evaluate the situation as a coach, mentor, or a leader
• Once evaluated, be calculative in the following steps to make sure of a positive outcome

The outcome is of the least importance when starting this process. It’s important to get accustomed to the process and add one’s flavours to get the best use of it.

I aim to help you grow as an individual and being optimistic is important to polish your personality, thoughts, and processes. Leading a successful life isn’t about holding a big bank balance alone but it’s also about being fulfilled and finding joy in how you do the things you do every day.